I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize