Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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