First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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