i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
