happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
