he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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