Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
