I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
