You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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