i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
