her vagine was all disorganized.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
