are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm both gender and math confused
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
