I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
this will be a night to untag.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
