i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I have fence marks all over my body
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
