So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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