She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Terrible idea I love it
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
