You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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