our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
