so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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