i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
