I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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