Taylor Swift is so right about you.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
