Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
