I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
