Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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