the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
