hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
