So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
