Your dad touched me again.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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