I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
