oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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