i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
