Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
