You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
We need to rekindle our bromance
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
