is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize