i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Randomize
