I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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