He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Randomize
