a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
