I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Gay?
German.
Pity.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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