If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
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