Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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