She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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