It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
