how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
