i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
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