It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
