I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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