Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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