Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
He is an equal opportunity slut.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
