she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
