i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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